Posted by Richard Dana on Tue, Aug 10, 2010 @ 04:28 PM
Active listening does not mean speaking over one another or cutting each other off mid-sentence. Quite the opposite.
Active listening means WAIT: Why am I talking?
Good listeners are observant. They are absorbing the information and seeing it as if it were on a wide screen television.
When we observe:
- We hear what is being said
- We see what is happening
- We understand how it impacts the larger issues.
Listening data is then used to respond productively, both through words and actions.
Tip: Pause for a few seconds after someone else finishes speaking. Breakdowns in communication occur more often when you rush into responses without getting the meaning and big picture relevance. Be aware of your listening style:
Which type of listener are you?
Level 1: It’s all about you. Rather than paying attention to what the other person is saying, your thoughts are on what you are going to say when they are finished.
Level 2: It’s all about the other person. Your attention is like a pinpoint laser, honed in on what the other person is saying.
Level 3: It’s about the other person and how their points relate to the big picture. This is also called “Global Listening.”
You don’t necessarily fall into one category all the time. In fact, great leaders often emphasize Levels 2 and 3. Level 1 doesn’t see much of anything. Great listeners are aware of the outer edges that frame the whole picture.
Think about it. Are you someone who is always in Level 1, never really listening to what other people have to say? Levels 2 and 3 are where ideas are born; where success begins. We have two ears and one mouth. Let’s try using them accordingly.
Posted by Richard Dana on Tue, Aug 03, 2010 @ 11:25 AM
In business practices, as well as our day to day lives, focus is the ball game. Anything worth doing will come with certain obstacles. We can choose to focus on the problem, or we can set our sights on the solution. Often times the problem is obvious. Anyone can point that out. The solution is where the magic lies.
Focusing on the problem is focusing on the negative. If you ask why all the time you can get drawn into an unproductive pattern. Instead, how about keeping your eyes on the prize? If you are a solution-oriented person, obstacles are much easier to overcome. So let’s avoid focusing on the whys and start with a more productive line of questioning.
- What do we need to do to make this work?
- What do we need to do to move forward?
- How can we develop strength in this area?
- What do we need next time to accomplish the goal?
These are questions that will help in a number of areas, from from developing and retaining talent, to resolving personality conflicts and disputes in group settings. When you’re asking these questions you are bound to experience more “aha moments,” those times when the answers to your problems come out of hiding. The more time you spend with your thoughts centered on the problem, the harder it is to see the big picture. Solutions are discovered while shifting from close-up to your wide angle lens. Try shifting perspective and see the picture in high definition.
Posted by Richard Dana on Mon, Jul 26, 2010 @ 11:22 AM
Why Performance Reviews are Essential
Why do most organizations avoid using performance reviews? While there may be Human Resources related concerns, it has been my experience that the most common reasons are more basic, more human. Emotional discomfort and the desire to avoid confrontations, especially family business conflicts, are often at the core of the issue. As a consultant, when I ask, “How are performance reviews conducted in your company?” I can usually tell before the response is finished. Long silences and awkward body language are clear indicators. This is true for companies small and large, family businesses, start-ups, privately-held businesses and in major corporations going public.
Performance reviews are meant to benefit everyone involved. Employees want feedback. Employers want performance. Developing and retaining talent requires a structured process of performance reviews as well as coaching and mentoring. Perspective needs to shift from negative to positive so performance reviews will help everyone strengthen the team. If used properly, they can open channels of communication that were blocked, provide solutions to personality conflicts, and allow people at every level of the company to work more efficiently.
Take a quick self and organizational check.
- Have you received productive performance reviews over the course of your career?
- Do you provide feedback for developing rising stars?
- Does your current business provide regular performance reviews?
- Do you have difficulty holding direct reports or peers accountable?
- Are you reluctant to confront underperforming partners or colleagues?
- Are you interested in developing a performance review model and training key leaders and managers to adopt it?
If these questions stir up interest, take steps to bring your talent management practices into high definition. See clearly the obstacles in front of you and learn how to overcome them. Ask what skills and resources are needed to provide constructive and productive performance reviews within your organization. Get clear to the bottom line.
Posted by Richard Dana on Wed, Jun 23, 2010 @ 02:50 PM
Family Business Conflict: Too hot to handle?
Let's face it, family business members have mastered the art of not talking.
Put power and control, birth order, sibling rivalry, and family history into the mix and it's no wonder that the pot is simmering. When left on the heat indefinitely, issues run rampant, while business and relationships suffer. Ironically, family members fear that talking about issues will cause a "blow-up." In fact, it's not talking that eventually leads to an explosion.
Holidays bring it on. Following Memorial Day I spent time with two different family business clients. For one, the holiday barbecue business tensions sizzled as much as the steak. For the other, indirect complaints, gripes and resentments swirled around and spoiled the social gathering. Each offered a vivid example of how conflict avoidance spills into the backyard, living room, and even the bedroom.
Conflicts don't go away by avoiding them. This morning I received a client email about the chronic performance problems of a family member with a drinking problem. The client wrote, "we'll just move on." Bottom line is, you can't. You can try to "work around "an issue or you can "work through" and resolve it. Think differently and actively deal with the challenge.
Why do I push? Walk into a scenario of entrenched family dynamics and you need to impact communication channels. One simple technique I use is the regular weekly standing meeting with all family business partners. Why? Very often, owners hold their Teams accountable for scheduled meetings, e.g. operations, finance, etc., while overlooking their own Partner Team. Even second-generation family businesses manage to avoid talking directly within their ownership team about important issues. These may include strategy, tactics, operations, performance and of course, love and money!
All is not fair in love and family business. Business owners need a tool kit for communication and problem-solving. The good news: Conflict Management can be learned once there is a commitment to the process. Whether the issues are personality conflicts, family history, current business performance or succession planning, open communication channels will reduce emotional intensity and create the space to solve problems.
When was the last time that your Family Business Team talked-really talked?
Posted by Richard Dana on Mon, May 17, 2010 @ 03:05 PM
Coaching in High Definition SM
High Definition has transformed our viewing experience. Whether its television, video or movies, we now see with unprecedented clarity and marvel at the versatility of our high-tech remote controls.
HD provides a great analogy for learning to lead, create, communicate, and work with clarity and focus.
Universal remotes can be programmed to manage all our household or office audio- visual and electrical functions. Now picture a remote that is programmed for your personal, business or professional development. This remote is built to include your cognitive, emotional and interpersonal capabilities. Add to that, channels for leadership and management skills, strategic thinking, business operations, time mastery; and now you are building a powerful and customized tool. 
Remember, remotes can be programmed to auto-record and set alarms- very useful for managing short and long term initiatives and tracking important channels. PIP helps you to see the picture in picture, all of the simultaneous "shows."
With a click you can re-play an interaction, save important meetings to "DVR;" switch from letter box (wide-angle) to close-up, or chose full screen viewing. Coaching in High Definition helps build your remote control and develop the skills for each channel. Business Consulting in High Definition helps you to see your organization with greater clarity than ever before; expand leadership skills, create high performance teams, manage change, and achieve results that are clear to the bottom line SM.
Posted by Richard Dana on Sun, Apr 25, 2010 @ 05:43 PM
Non-verbal communication is the key to successful interactions or presentations. Body language, facial expression and tone of voice, accentuate or obstruct your message. Establishing comfort is essential to delivering your message.Whether speaking to large groups, small teams or one-on-one, effective communication is established non-verbally. Try to pace your speech at a rate that can be absorbed. Look for signals of acknowledgment or confusion. Remember that people process language at different speeds. Try to match your pace with the audience and remember to pause, so your listener can ask a question or let you know if they are lost!
Eye contact is frequently misunderstood. People vary greatly in their comfort with, and ability to sustain eye contact. Also, remember that eye contact can be culturally determined, and has different meanings to different people.
As a listener, reading non-verbal cues is your guide to subtle or hidden meaning. Is there a disconnect between a speaker's words and non-verbal signals? Is your employee or customer expressing caution through their tone of voice? Influencing others grows out of understanding them. Interpersonal awareness will help you to read emotional intensity. Tuning into others will inform your thinking and help you make good decisions about what to say or ask.
Posted by Richard Dana on Thu, Apr 15, 2010 @ 11:39 AM
Feeling stuck, locked into tunnel vision? It may be time to step back and shift your focus to the big picture and your overarching goals. What does your gut instinct tell you? Concerns about staying on track can easily screen out important information. Learn to retrain your brain and open the field for thinking differently. Breakthrough Coaching is a process that helps you access your self knowledge, balance your conceptual thinking with pragmatic concerns. Moving from a telephoto to wide angle view allows you to see the details and the big picture. What does your concern look like at ground level, 30 feet, 300 feet, 3000 feet and 30,000 feet?
Engage in a creative thought process that integrates your emotions, intellect and instincts. If you are prone to distractions or getting lost in the details, a coach can help you develop the self management tools and skill practice routines, required for flexible problem solving.
It is refreshing. Shift sight lines. Learn to change behaviors that are blocking your success. While we can't change our personalities, we can change our behavior. This includes how we think about a challenge. So often, we revert to automatic thinking. What we expect is what we see and what we do. It is liberating and exciting to unlock your thinking, create new brain maps and experience the aha moments that follow.
Recently a client reported that their business was off and all indications pointed toward closing up. Initially, this person reported all the things that were wrong and all the reasons why failure was imminent. After expressing my concern, I asked them what it would mean to their customers if they went under. After a long pause, they began to tell me how their customers would look for alternative resources. I asked additional questions about what it would mean to their competitors, the geographic region, etc. Each question shifted their sight line and allowed their own insights to trickle and then, pour in.
The client began to see an opportunity, a possible solution. The work wasn't done! In the next discussion I raised questions that created a space to freely explore implementing the idea. More negative thinking- all the reasons why it wouldn't work. Again, we went through the acknowledgment and thinking beyond the barriers. Again, creative thinking was opened up and new ideas deepened and extended the opportunity.
The discipline of gaining perspective, managing emotional reactions, in this case, moving from despair to possibility was reinforced and repeated, time and time again. The client's small business challenges grew into small business opportunities. This breakthrough launched a similar, and different, business venture that may have been missed.
When faced with tough business decisions or interpersonal conflicts that may derail you, remember that thinking differently and establishing new behaviors will enhance performance and help you achieve your overarching goals.